Why It’s Challenging for Physicians to Negotiate—And How to Shift That Perspective
For numerous physicians, the term “negotiation” evokes feelings of discomfort, if not complete trepidation. Having undergone extensive training in medical practices, doctors dedicate many years to mastering diagnoses, treatment methods, and patient care. Yet, they are seldom taught one crucial skill that could greatly influence both their financial stability and personal wellness—negotiation.
This unease is particularly accentuated among female physicians, who frequently confront additional layers of cultural conditioning and systemic bias. But what if we shared that negotiation isn’t inherently aggressive or self-serving? What if it could be straightforward, empathetic, and even liberating?
Negotiation: An Everyday Activity You Didn’t Realize You Engaged In
In contrast to common assumptions, negotiation is not limited to discussions regarding salary or job positions. It seeps into everyday interactions. Every time a physician convinces a patient to embrace a healthier lifestyle, engages in discussions about treatment options with peers, or negotiates household decisions—negotiation is occurring. The unfamiliarity stems not from its rarity but from the fact that the formalized, purposeful act of negotiating one’s value has long been downplayed in medical education.
Why Many Physicians Encounter Challenges in Negotiation
At its essence, the medical field nurtures a culture focused on service and selflessness. Doctors learn to prioritize patient needs above their own, frequently to the brink of burnout. Women in the medical profession are also shaped by societal norms extending expectations of submissiveness, avoiding disputes, and refraining from being perceived as “too assertive.”
This atmosphere often cultivates thought patterns such as:
– Avoidance of conflict
– Undervaluation of personal worth
– Anxiety about appearing selfish
– Catastrophizing the concept of “asking for too much”
These beliefs obstruct effective self-advocacy. Yet, negotiation is not about being aggressive or deceitful. Rather, it centers on clarity, presence, and mutual advantage.
An Approach to Negotiation Rooted in Mindfulness
Dr. Jessie Mahoney—a board-certified pediatrician, mentor, and mindfulness instructor—has guided numerous physicians in transforming their discomfort with negotiation into a skill set grounded in self-respect and strategic thinking. Below are her top strategies for reframing and mastering negotiation:
1. Breathe
The straightforward act of intentional breathing helps regulate the nervous system, promoting calmness, clarity, and focus—especially during high-pressure discussions.
2. Articulate Your Needs
Physicians frequently hesitate to sound ungrateful. However, unless you express your needs, they remain unmet. Be specific, be clear, and keep in mind: asking doesn’t equate to demanding.
3. Conduct Your Research
Be aware of what peers in similar roles earn, recognize your distinct value, and understand your alternatives. Knowledge is power—and a safeguard against exploitative proposals.
4. Recognize Your Value—and Share Your Narrative
You are not “fortunate” to receive an offer. Your inclusion enhances the team. Confidently communicate your achievements and worth in a grounded manner.
5. Arrive with Purpose
Embarking on each negotiation with calmness and self-assurance enhances your appeal. Dedicate time before the negotiation to ground yourself through walking, meditation, or deep breathing exercises.
6. Understand Your Limits
Clearly define what you will and won’t accept. If you’re unwilling to walk away, it compromises your leverage—and you may end up with a deal that isn’t sustainable.
7. Strive for Mutual Benefits
Negotiation doesn’t have to be confrontational. Acknowledge the other party’s pressures and frame discussions around collaborative success, rather than strict fairness.
8. Practice Patience with Uncertainty
Resist the urge to fill voids or rush to an agreement. Allow time for contemplation—it can lead to valuable insights and demonstrate strength.
9. Keep Your Limits Private Initially
Maintain your ultimate threshold confidential until you’re prepared to walk away. Revealing it too early can undermine your negotiation effectiveness.
10. Steer Clear of Arrogance
Negotiations aren’t about validating your worth—they’re about aligning interests. Stay composed and focus on practical outcomes.
11. Acknowledge—Don’t Minimize—Your Achievements
Steer clear of the typical trap of perfectionistic regret (“I should have requested more”). Recognize and celebrate the advancements you’ve made in asserting your voice.
Redefining Negotiation as an Act of Self-Compassion
In the end, negotiation transcends mere business acumen—it serves as a tool for leadership, wellness, and communication. For physicians, it can determine the difference between burnout and balance, between merely enduring a career and truly thriving within one. It’s time to rethink negotiation as a radical form of self-care.
You don’t have to negotiate like someone else. You simply need to negotiate in a manner that embodies clarity, mindfulness, and your individual values.
Dr. Jessie Mahoney’s initiatives through Pause & Presence Coaching and The Mindful Healers Podcast represent a gentle shift away from a medical culture entrenched in overwork and self-neglect. Her message resonates: physicians deserve better—and it begins with learning