Welcoming Body Neutrality: A Passage from Adolescent Dieting to Enduring Self-Acceptance
I was just 13 when I embarked on my first diet.
For almost six years prior, I battled with my weight—more accurately, with my self-image. My reflection wasn’t a neutral onlooker; it frequently served as my toughest critic.
My limited wardrobe choices were dictated not by fashion or comfort, but by what concealed my insecurities. That West 49 sweater wasn’t merely an item of clothing—it was protective gear. Drooping shoulders became my defensive stance, shielding what my middle school peers had long labeled: my “man boobs.”
By age 13, I was already exhausted by the self-awareness that dominated my existence. So, I made a decision—a drastic one: transform my body. Perhaps then, I mused, I’d finally find happiness.
The Ups—and Downs—of Shedding Pounds
I began dieting obsessively—substituting meals with rudimentary weight-loss shakes and engaging in multiple exercise sessions daily. In just five months, I shed 60 pounds, losing almost a third of my body weight.
And just like that, admiration poured in. Compliments. Acknowledgment. Affirmation. It felt exhilarating.
The slimmer version of me was celebrated in a way my previous self never was. I wore my transformation proudly, becoming the “once-overweight kid” who “demonstrated that anyone can lose weight.” My self-esteem soared—but only as long as I sustained that ideal.
And, as so many experience in diet culture, the weight came back. With it returned shame, isolation, and a profound sense of failure. I had climbed to the summit—and then dropped off.
This was the emotional cycle I repeated for 15 years.
Embracing Body Neutrality: A Transformative Change
Eventually, I discovered a concept that would slowly transform my relationship with my body: Body Neutrality.
This wasn’t about becoming a fan of every detail of my body, nor was it just another weight-loss plan cloaked in more gentle terms. Instead, it was a significant change—one that inspired me to:
- Separate my self-worth from my appearance
- Appreciate my body for what it could achieve rather than what it resembled
- Ponder deeper questions about the life I was delaying while waiting for the “ideal” body
With time and dedication, I started to embrace a new reality: I could savor my life in my current body. I didn’t need to earn joy or self-esteem through six-pack abs or a specific weight on the scale.
What Exactly Is Body Neutrality?
Body neutrality is the principle of valuing your body for its capabilities, not its appearance.
It focuses less on loving or disliking your body and more on accepting it as is—while still making decisions that enhance your health, happiness, and overall quality of life.
Here’s a glimpse of what body neutrality may entail:
- Exercising for improved mood and energy—not merely to shed calories
- Choosing nourishing foods because they make you feel your best
- Wearing outfits that are comfortable and genuine, not solely flattering
- Forgoing self-criticism when your body doesn’t conform to societal standards
- Granting yourself happiness now, rather than tying it to a future version of yourself
Body neutrality is about redirecting the focus from your appearance and illuminating your lived experiences instead.
It’s for Everyone—not Solely Those with Larger Bodies
While many connect body neutrality with individuals in marginalized or plus-sized bodies, it also offers relief to those in conventionally ideal bodies, who frequently face their own perfectionism challenges.
As nutritionist and body image coach Shannon Beer notes, even those who “possess the ideal body” can struggle internally because their identity is linked to that fragile image. Maintaining such a look requires sacrifices—and can come at the expense of joy, spontaneity, and health.
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