# How Can I Communicate with My Child About ADHD?
Navigating a diagnosis of ADHD with your child can seem daunting, but you’re not alone. It’s essential to know how to communicate about ADHD with your child in a way that resonates with them, aiding them in accepting their unique mind and fostering self-esteem.
As a pediatric neurologist and a parent to a child with ADHD, I frequently guide families through this dialogue in my practice. Here’s my approach and how you can implement it as well.
## **Begin with Their Current Understanding**
One of the initial questions I pose to my young patients is, *”Are you putting in extra effort?”* They all nod enthusiastically. This is because our kids are indeed doing their utmost, despite what society may convey. If “putting in extra effort” were sufficient, ADHD wouldn’t present challenges in the first place.
Your child is already aware of distinctions between themselves and their peers. Even the littlest ones can identify “the smart kids,” “the fun kids,” and “the popular kids.” Regrettably, they also recognize kids labeled as “bad” for talking too much, being overly active, or having trouble concentrating. If your child falls into this category, they may have internalized negative labels like *lazy, bad, hyper, distracted,* or *daydreamy.*
That’s why labeling ADHD is essential—it transforms the narrative from *“there’s something wrong with me”* to *“my brain simply operates differently.”*
## **Clarify ADHD in Basic Terms**
ADHD isn’t linked to intelligence or capability—it’s merely about one’s ability to concentrate. Every child possesses strengths and weaknesses. Some children thrive in math, athletics, or socializing, while others face obstacles in certain areas. Focus is one such skill, and ADHD complicates its regulation.
I prefer to use familiar analogies for kids:
🔹 **The Ferrari Brain with Bicycle Brakes** – Children with ADHD have swift, powerful minds—like Ferraris. The issue? Their brakes aren’t as robust as their engine, which makes it difficult to slow down or change direction when necessary.
🔹 **You’ve Misplaced Your Marbles** – Visualize everyone having marbles they must keep in a bag. Most people have intact bags, keeping their marbles organized. Kids with ADHD, however, have a tear in their bag—so tracking their thoughts requires extra effort. Medication and various supports help mend that tear.
## **Talking About Treatment and Assistance**
Once your child comprehends that ADHD is a natural aspect of their brain function, the next phase is determining how to assist them in thriving. There are numerous avenues to support a child with ADHD, such as school accommodations, behavioral therapy, and systematic routines. Fundamentally, ADHD represents a chemical variation in the brain.
Some children may require assistance with their focus, similar to how individuals need glasses for clear vision. No amount of “trying harder” can remedy poor eyesight—just like ADHD isn’t about determination.
Medication can be a valuable resource. Instead of presenting it as something unnatural, you can use the **glasses analogy**:
*”Some individuals need glasses to sharpen their vision. Regardless of how much I wish to see without them, I cannot—my eyes simply aren’t structured that way. Glasses don’t alter my identity; they merely help me navigate life more effortlessly.”*
Most ADHD medications only act for a short duration, so you can always modify or discontinue them when necessary. Finding the right “fit” may involve some trial and error, much like searching for the perfect pair of glasses or shoes, but when it suits, life can become significantly easier.
## **Encourage Them to Embrace Their Unique Mind**
ADHD doesn’t disappear, but individuals with ADHD gradually learn to collaborate with their brains rather than against them. Some may require continued support like medication throughout their lives, while others will cultivate personal coping strategies. Both methods are valid—it’s all about discovering what enables them to thrive.
Ultimately, our aim as parents is to nurture happy, healthy, and independent children. By facilitating their understanding of their neurodivergent brains, we equip them with the confidence to rise above labels and view their ADHD as a vital part of their uniqueness.
With awareness, support, and the right resources, children with ADHD can excel—and leave a remarkable imprint on the world.
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### **About the Author**
*Dr. Paige Kalika is a board-certified pediatric neurologist at the University of Miami, focusing on neurodiversity and neurodivergence. She is also a parent of a child with ADHD.*