# **I Was 13 When I Started My First Diet: A Path to Body Neutrality**

At the age of 13, I decided to embark on my first diet. For the six years leading up to that moment, I had faced challenges with my weight, and my perception of my body significantly impacted my self-esteem. My fixation on my appearance influenced my daily decisions—what I wore, how I exercised, and how much I interacted with my surroundings.

As I entered my teenage years, I concluded that transforming my life required transforming my body. This led to a rigorous regimen of severe dieting, compulsive exercise, and punishing myself each time I consumed something considered “off limits.” In a span of five months, I shed 60 pounds—a third of my total weight.

The weight loss earned me constant accolades from those around me, reinforcing the notion that my worth was linked to my looks. However, like many extreme weight loss narratives, the weight gradually returned, resulting in a cycle of shame, depression, and ongoing dieting attempts that lasted nearly 15 years.

Everything shifted when I learned about the concept of **body neutrality**—a mindset that enabled me to dissociate my self-worth from my body’s appearance. In this piece, I will explore what body neutrality entails, how it can assist you in developing a healthier self-relationship, and five practical strategies to liberate yourself from an appearance-focused mindset.

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## **What Is Body Neutrality?**
Body neutrality is a philosophy that promotes the idea of **valuing your body’s function over its appearance**. Instead of compelling yourself to adore every aspect of your body, body neutrality allows you to find contentment with it—recognizing its functionality and significance beyond mere aesthetics.

In practice, this encompasses:
✅ Engaging in physical activities and consuming nutritious foods because they enhance your well-being—rather than to alter your body size.
✅ Savoring treats without guilt while also being mindful of what makes your body feel optimal.
✅ Choosing clothing that feels comfortable and true to yourself, yet not letting your appearance determine your self-worth.
✅ Acknowledging that some days you may feel confident about your body, while other days you may not—and not allowing that to hinder your life.
✅ Broadening your self-perception to encompass your values, experiences, and character, rather than solely focusing on your looks.

For years, I thought my body was a hindrance to happiness, believing, *”I’ll do that once I lose weight.”* Body neutrality taught me that I deserved happiness, experiences, and meaningful relationships—regardless of my size.

## **Everyone Can Benefit from Body Neutrality**
Contrary to popular belief, body neutrality is not exclusive to individuals in larger bodies. It’s equally beneficial for those who have received compliments on their appearance.

Many individuals who meet societal beauty standards still battle with self-worth, anxious that any alteration in their looks will lower their value. Some restrict their food intake and excessively exercise to sustain an ideal image, depleting themselves in the process.

According to registered nutritionist and body image coach Shannon Beer, linking self-worth to appearance can trap individuals—even when they appear “ideal” by societal metrics. Body neutrality facilitates a shift in focus towards a more sustainable, balanced sense of self-esteem for *everyone*.

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## **Body Neutrality in Action**
Jessi Kneeland, body neutrality coach and author of *Body Neutral: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Body Image Issues*, defines the mindset as **embracing the “meh.”** This implies that instead of excessively idealizing or despising your body, you adjust your focus to accept it with neutrality.

Instead of striving for constant self-love, the goal is to redirect your energy away from how you appear. If you don’t love how a certain body part looks, that’s perfectly fine—you shouldn’t allow that impression to dictate your actions or happiness.

### **Appearance Goals vs. Body Neutrality**
One question many individuals ponder is whether body neutrality implies they must give up on aesthetic goals. The answer? **Not exactly.**

Body neutrality doesn’t require you to forgo all aspirations for physical change; it merely alters your motivation and mindset regarding those goals.

If extreme dieting and excessive exercise are detrimental to your mental and physical health, body neutrality encourages you to step back from those cycles. However, if you genuinely enjoy strength training or nourishing your body because it makes you feel good, that aligns with this approach.

The primary distinction? **Your self-worth isn’t contingent upon your body’s size or shape.**

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## **5 Ways to Embrace a Body Neutral Mindset**
If you’re prepared to disentangle your happiness from your appearance, here are **five actionable steps** you can take to adopt body neutrality.

### **1. Embrace the Activities You Love—Now.**
Cease postponing life until you attain a certain look. Begin engaging in