Title: Reclaiming the Self: The Quiet Battles and Sacred Strength of Female Physicians

By Preyasha Tuladhar, MD

In a society where efficiency often overshadows presence, where productivity supersedes emotional health, and where women—particularly female physicians—are expected to appear impeccable for everyone except themselves, we are approaching a breaking point. Female physicians balance numerous roles—provider, caregiver, partner, daughter—often sacrificing their own identities. In the valiant effort of supporting others, they silently distance themselves from their authentic selves.

This is not a grievance—it’s an invitation to awareness.

The Unseen Burden of Female Physicians

The contemporary medical landscape is challenging for all, yet it poses distinct emotional and societal hurdles for women. Beyond clinical responsibilities like completing charts or handling patient portals overwhelmed with messages, female doctors frequently return home to secondary, invisible shifts—calming crying children, making dinner choices, or ensuring the right attire for school pictures and family gatherings.

While such duties may be embraced with affection, the cumulative impact is undeniable. Many find themselves skipping meals, relying on caffeine rather than proper nutrition, or pressing on through fatigue instead of resting. The pressure to excel is less about external demands and more about cultural conditioning—thus, sadly, often overlooked.

What fuels this exhaustion? Guilt, shame, and an absence of permission.

Guilt, Shame, and the Hidden Battle

Guilt murmurs, “You ought to be doing more.” It persuades women that taking a moment for themselves is a luxury, when in reality, it is essential.

Shame intensifies isolation. It misleads women into believing they are alone in their struggles, even while social media showcases seemingly effortless lives—holidays, harmonious families, and organized homes. This shame fosters silence—a silence that keeps women comparing, performing, and enduring in solitude.

The final obstacle is self-permission. The notion that one must “earn” the right to rest or enjoy life fosters an internal tug-of-war between self-worth and productivity.

But herein lies the reality: We were never intended to operate as machines.

The Sacred Feminine: What We’ve Foregone

Society celebrates masculine energy—structure, speed, linear advancement. And women, striving for success in this realm, have adeptly adapted to embody these attributes.

But at what expense?

By neglecting our cyclic essence, disregarding our biological rhythms, and dismissing the sacred femininity of inhabiting a female body, we become disconnected. We stifle the intuitive voice that urges us to “slow down,” reminding us that we are not designed to operate on autopilot indefinitely.

The real peril isn’t burnout. It’s in disconnecting—from ourselves, from our joy, and from the subtle, potent, sacred truths of the feminine.

Women are not designed to exist in an endless state of striving. Life is not intended to be a race against fatigue.

Power, Reclaimed

Reclaiming power doesn’t always manifest as protesting or grand declarations. Sometimes, power takes the form of the smallest acts of defiance: Declining requests without justification. Choosing to rest instead of responding to another message. Prioritizing joy. Requesting assistance.

It may mean redefining strength not as endurance, but as authenticity.

Power lies in acknowledging that we do not need to re-earn our humanity each day. We have the right to feel whole now—exhausted, fulfilled, overwhelmed, gentle, strong. We are permitted to ebb and flow.

Redefining Power and Success

Being referred to as “too much” or “difficult” should not be seen as offenses; they signify a woman refusing to diminish herself. They represent freedom.

In medicine, systemic changes are slow to occur. But we can initiate change from within. When one woman reclaims her space—adorning herself with jewelry, saying no, leaving an email unanswered—she paves the way for others to follow.

Success for female physicians ought not to be gauged by how much we can overextend ourselves. It should be assessed by how genuinely we can live and love in harmony with our true selves—not merely as physicians but as human beings.

Permission Granted

If you’ve been yearning for permission to pause, to step back, to prioritize yourself—you don’t need it. But here it is nonetheless:

Yes, it’s acceptable to miss a message.
Yes, it’s acceptable to savor a meal, beautifully, alone.
Yes, it’s acceptable not to fulfill everyone’s expectations.
Yes, it’s acceptable to travel to Paris. Alone.

We were never meant to confine ourselves within lines drawn to limit us. The power we seek has been quietly waiting—within us, all along.

The path to healing for women—especially those who heal—is not solely about transforming systems. It’s also about awakening to our own sacred feminine essence, affirming our worthiness, and embracing our completeness.

Let us not aspire to be perfect.

Let us dare.