For many years, I attended to patients in my role as a nurse practitioner—overseeing chronic illnesses, assisting them through acute health challenges, and offering guidance amid the often chaotic truths of health and life. I cherished my profession. I valued the connections I established with my patients, the confidence they placed in me, and the chance to impact their lives positively.
However, as time went on, a subtle restlessness started to emerge—a feeling that I desired to enhance my comprehension of medicine and broaden the methods through which I could assist those under my care. This notion only grew stronger as life unfolded around me in unexpected ways.
My husband’s unforeseen injury propelled me into a completely different position—not merely as his caregiver but also as his champion within a fragmented healthcare system I assumed I understood. Once a well-respected anesthesia professional working over 80 hours a week, he had become a mere subject of the healthcare system. While sitting by his side during surgeries and hospital visits, managing intricate follow-ups, I witnessed firsthand both the strengths and deficiencies in how care is administered. I felt a deep obligation to learn more, to gain a fuller understanding, so that I could serve my patients—and my family—with greater insight.
Around the same period, I experienced the heartbreaking loss of my sister to suicide. That occurrence devastated me and compelled me to face the constraints of my knowledge and tools as a practitioner. I aspired to be the type of healthcare provider capable of not only diagnosing and treating but also recognizing the unseen struggles my patients might be facing, and working to bridge the gaps that too frequently result in tragic situations.
Through mourning, caregiving, and introspection, I spent years contemplating whether I was truly on the correct path. Ultimately, the answer became evident: I needed to evolve. I needed to deepen my understanding of medicine, both for the sake of my patients and for the person I am transforming into. Pursuing medical school isn’t about abandoning my past—it’s about building upon it. Every experience I’ve accumulated thus far is shaping the physician I aspire to become.
Medicine revolves around presence, not merely knowledge. During my NP training, we covered pathophysiology, pharmacology, and clinical guidelines. However, in practice, I swiftly discovered that presence—being fully there for a patient during their fear, grief, and uncertainty—was just as significant as clinical expertise.
I recall one patient, a 20-year-old woman who was left brain-dead following a horrific car crash. While I couldn’t alter the unavoidable, I was able to listen, validate, and accompany her family through their immense sorrow. The trust we cultivated during our time together influenced every following decision regarding her care, ultimately shaping how her family encountered this critical moment.
As a future physician, I aim to keep this lesson at the forefront. Clinical skill is essential—and so is humanity. I aspire to exemplify both.
Teams—not single individuals—deliver excellent care. My experience working in interdisciplinary teams as an NP taught me the importance of humility and respect for each team member. I learned from nurses, patient care technicians, case managers, pharmacists, and specialists in various fields. The best outcomes arose when we worked together, listened intently to one another, and maintained a patient-centered focus.
As I transition to a physician role, I hope to safeguard this team-centric mindset. While titles may shift, the necessity for collaboration remains constant.
Every patient carries a narrative—and systems influence those narratives. Over time, as I cared for patients, I recognized how social determinants—housing, food access, literacy, trauma—shaped health outcomes more significantly than any prescription I could provide. I also observed how complex and impersonal healthcare systems could neglect vulnerable patients.
These realizations ignited a passion within me not only to deliver exceptional clinical care but also to advocate for systems that serve patients more fairly. I am determined to incorporate this perspective into my future medical education and practice.
Self-awareness is crucial—and so is self-care. Balancing clinical responsibilities, family life, and caregiving for my disabled spouse revealed the limits of personal resilience. I encountered burnout. I learned that effective clinicians attend to their well-being so they can engage fully with their patients.
As I embark on this new chapter, I plan to prioritize sustainable practice, exemplify it for my peers and students, and contribute to a culture where well-being holds equal importance to clinical excellence.
The path ahead
I didn’t follow a conventional route to medical school. I carry with me years of bedside experience, valuable lessons regarding patient care, team dynamics, system shortcomings, and personal development—along with the deeply personal experiences that influenced my decision to pursue this path.
These lessons will not supplant the knowledge I’ll acquire in medical school—they will enhance it. They serve as a constant reminder of the type of physician I strive to be: one who listens empathetically, values teamwork, advocates passionately, and provides care with humanity.
The bedside provided me with invaluable lessons. Now, I’m prepared to carry those insights forward.
Sarah White is a nurse practitioner, small business owner, and