I’ve experienced a complete life. A challenging one. A beautiful one. A complex one. And now, at 61, I’m finally starting to live an authentic one.

I was created in survival mode. Growing up as a Korean American boy in Central Texas—often the sole Asian face in the environment—my formative years taught me that being different could either be embraced… or punished. Initially, it was embraced. I thrived. However, relocating to a new city revealed a different truth: Being different could become perilous. I faced bullying. Exclusion. I was thrown into dumpsters. Received notes in my locker. Saw graffiti on my car. I learned to safeguard myself—not by diminishing, but by excelling. Straight A’s weren’t about pride. They were about security. Being valedictorian wasn’t a status—it was protection.

Yet achievement couldn’t silence the thoughts in my mind:

– Why must I confront this struggle daily?
– Why couldn’t I just be white?
– No one will ever love you.

I didn’t merely pursue success. I concealed myself behind it. Eventually, I became a doctor. An ER physician. Not out of a desire for prestige, but because it offered me a mission—and a disguise. For 35 years, I ran towards what others avoided: trauma, chaos, death. I cradled deceased infants. Informed mothers that their children were lost. Administered CPR to friends. Recorded time of death for unknown individuals and colleagues alike.

I began my journey during the AIDS epidemic, when so much was uncertain. After a needle stick or scalpel cut, I’d wait—fearful—wondering if I had become HIV positive. Here today, gone tomorrow. I concluded my ER career amid another pandemic: COVID-19. This time, the uncertainty impacted all of us. We didn’t merely treat the virus. We could succumb to it. I witnessed patients gasping in hallways on BiPAP because we had run out of ventilators. Once again: Here today, gone tomorrow.

The body always retains the score, as Dr. Bessel van der Kolk so profoundly noted. I perfected compartmentalization. I had no choice. If I embraced every death, I couldn’t function. But unresolved emotions don’t vanish—they merely seek alternative routes. For me, they surfaced as addiction, sex, performance, anger. Two versions of me emerged:

– One who saved lives.
– And one who undermined his own.

I wasn’t always the father, husband, or individual I aspired to be. But I was perpetually growing. Because somewhere within, curiosity endured. That curiosity led to a spiritual awakening. It transformed into what Dr. Brené Brown might describe as a confrontation with shame, and ultimately, a reclamation of love.

I’ve come to realize that the identity I cultivated—shaped by pain, perfection, and protection—was never the entire narrative. It was merely the opening chapter. My previous biography was not my fate. So after 35 years I commenced writing once more.

Don’t place a period where God placed a comma, as Gracie Allen wisely stated. I refer to this new chapter as the Nova Oath™—my Hippocratic Oath 2.0. The old oath stated: “Do no harm.” Now? I declare: “Do more good,” my own evolved interpretation of that original commitment.

That signifies:

– Showing up with integrity when no one is observing.
– Treating myself with the same compassion I’ve extended to thousands of patients.
– Choosing peace over pressure, love over bitterness, presence over performance.

My past presented me with scars. But it also provided me with scaffolding—to create something sacred. I’m no longer pursuing excellence to validate my existence. I belong because I choose to.

This is my narrative. It’s not flawless. But it’s mine. And maybe, just maybe, it’s yours as well. If you’re reading this and something within you awakened—let that be your beginning point. You are unique. So go make a difference.™

If this resonates, subscribe or share. This is merely the start of a dialogue we all need to engage in—about trauma, identity, healing, and who we become when we consciously choose to evolve.

*Kenneth Ro is an independent emergency physician with 35 years of experience, committed to reshaping the practice of medicine. As the creator of the Nova Oath, Dr. Ro is devoted to reinterpreting the Hippocratic oath—shifting focus from mere survival to sovereignty, purpose, and doing more good in the world. His mission is to inspire both patients and healthcare professionals to make a significant difference. In addition to his clinical practice, Dr. Ro champions men’s health and well-being through his platform, Back in the Game Men. Connect with Dr. Ro on LinkedIn to discover more about his initiatives and vision for a healthier, purpose-driven future.*