The Deception of “Lose Weight and You’ll Be Happy”: Reclaiming Our Narratives from a Culture Fixated on “Smaller”
“Lose weight and you’ll be happy,” they proclaim — a sentiment reverberating through various media channels, shared in well-meaning dialogues, and ingrained as a measure of achievement. Yet, for numerous individuals, including oral medicine expert and radiation oncology research fellow Dr. Jillian Rigert, the anticipated happiness never materialized. Instead, it paved a way to physical fatigue, emotional exhaustion, and mental confinement. The urge to reduce size transcends physical appearance; it emphasizes diminishing our self-worth, independence, and identity to conform to an unattainable societal standard.
This piece explores how societal narratives regarding weight and value distort our capacity to live authentically and fully — and how we can start to reclaim our space, confidence, and happiness.
The Fallacy of Discipline and the Fascination With Control
“You’re incredibly disciplined,” they comment, offering recognition that conceals a grimmer reality.
What appears as discipline to an observer often conceals harmful behaviors — limiting intake, excessive exercising, or mental negotiations surrounding food. In these instances, food transforms into a conditional privilege: something to be merited, never genuinely enjoyed. The facade of control evolves into confinement. Celebrating slimness without comprehending its repercussions perpetuates detrimental behavior cycles and stifles pleas for assistance.
Frequently, the body expresses distress through signals such as fatigue, dizziness, and inability to concentrate. However, since these symptoms align with our cultural archetype of the “disciplined” individual — perpetually in command, impeccably curated — suffering gets misconstrued as achievement.
The Perils of Accepting Disordered Eating as Normal
“How do you consistently eat so ‘healthily’?” they inquire. But that inquiry serves as a trigger for someone whose inventory of “safe” foods is dwindling by the hour.
Clean eating. Calorie tracking. Carb restriction. These practices often commence innocently, perhaps fostered by health trends or wellness culture. Nonetheless, for many, they spiral into fixations that strip away spontaneity, social bonds, and joy. What begins as a health objective can morph into orthorexia, anorexia, or other eating disorders under the guise of “being good.”
When society lauds the visible indicators of weight reduction or “wellness,” it’s easy to disregard the internal turmoil—anxiety, isolation, self-criticism. Such anguish often remains unseen, especially since it is rewarded and admired.
Who are “They” Anyway?
“They” are omnipresent yet elusive. The collective voices of media, marketing, family, and friends — all echoing the same misguided beliefs: that being thinner is preferable, being smaller is sought after, and happiness is rooted in appearance.
But what if “they” are mistaken?
What if thinness isn’t the gateway to happiness, but a diversion from it—particularly when gained at the expense of mental and physical well-being? Jillian Rigert’s candid reflections illustrate how heartbreaking it is to reach the “ideal” weight only to find oneself sicker, lonelier, and more preoccupied than ever.
Yet in those darkest times, the cheers fade. When someone is hospitalized, fighting for survival, the validation that once fueled them is nowhere to be found. That’s when many come to the realization: “they” were never there to rescue you.
Reclaiming the Story: You Are Already Enough
Each day, we are overwhelmed by signals — instructing us how to appear, eat, live, and even feel. These messages are deliberate: by instilling feelings of unworthiness, industries can profit from selling solutions. Diet pills, detox smoothies, gym memberships, cosmetic enhancements — all flourish on insecurity.
But what if the genuine route to tranquility and health lies in disengaging from the clamor?
Rigert invites readers to envision a life where worthiness is unconditional. A life where food isn’t something to be earned, bodies aren’t coerced into compliance, and value isn’t judged by outward looks. Instead of striving for unattainable perfection, what would it be like to nurture your mind, body, and spirit? Not for external validation, but because you possess intrinsic worth — now, not “when.”
The Importance of Small Steps, or “Turtle Steps”
Recovery, healing, and self-liberation seldom manifest all at once. Therefore, approaching ourselves with kindness is essential. Rigert concludes by promoting “turtle steps” — small, manageable actions that reconnect you with your own desires rather than societal norms.
These steps could include:
– Unfollowing social media profiles that provoke body comparison.
– Reintroducing foods into your diet that you’ve unjustly categorized as “bad.”
– Establishing limits around weight-focused discussions from others.
– Wearing outfits that feel comfortable — not merely presentable.
– Consulting with a therapist or enrolling in a recovery support group.
Whatever your next move entails, remember this: you have the right to occupy space.
Conclusion: Reconstructing From Within