Cap’n Crunch never possessed an authentic naval title; he was referred to as “Cap’n” due to being the highest-ranking individual present, rather than because he succeeded someone more qualified. In several clinics, a similar situation exists: the structure is designed so that you hardly, if at all, encounter a genuine doctor. Anyone around with the appropriate badge automatically assumes the title and responsibilities. This “Cap’n Crunch” trend is not confined to just one eccentric clinic; it is occurring throughout America. Family practices and medical offices are increasingly manned and managed by whoever is on hand with the bare minimum of qualifications, instead of experienced doctors with extensive specialized training. Consequently, patients receive hurried care, overlooked diagnoses, and crucial decisions made by individuals whose titles are more honorary than substantiated, paving the way for perilous errors and frustrating oversights.

I have personally experienced these shortcomings in my care. Rather than being informed directly by my clinic, I discovered my diabetic condition first from a Walmart pharmacy, not from a healthcare provider. Even after voicing my concerns, the doctor consistently neglected to order tests she claimed I required: such as a blood draw and an EKG, both promised during my initial visit but never ordered or addressed again. Changes and updates to medication often occur without clear communication, compelling me to piece together my own diagnosis and risks, rather than receiving guided assistance from someone who is genuinely responsible for my health.

It is not inherently negative that clinics and family practices deliver care where it might typically be unavailable. In numerous communities, these offices act as the sole access point for individuals who would otherwise slip through the cracks entirely. However, that underscores the importance of holding these facilities to a higher standard, not a lesser one. When the criteria for who is “in charge” is determined by who happens to be present, patients like me are left relying on luck rather than having a guarantee of quality care.

We require genuine oversight, explicit regulation, and transparent accountability for these clinics, particularly when they are delivering primary care and managing chronic conditions for individuals without other healthcare options. It is not about closing their doors or asserting that only MDs can treat patients, but about ensuring that the standards for training, patient communication, and follow-through are genuinely enforced. At the very least, clinics should be mandated to inform patients of diagnoses and medication adjustments directly; no patient should ever learn about life-changing medical news at a pharmacy counter. If we are to allow the “Cap’n Crunch” system to persist, let’s at least ensure that someone is monitoring to see that the correct captain is navigating the ship.

*Timothy Thomas is a patient advocate.*